When we put ourselves first as parents…

everything else starts falling into place – especially our relationship with our kids. When we have peace of mind, feel fulfilled and have the bandwidth to deal with emotions, challenges and stressors, our kids follow suit

“Be the parent you want to be and create the type of relationship you want to have with your kids.”

Welcome!

Hey there and warm welcome! I’m so glad you’re here and it doesn’t matter whether you stumbled upon this page or your actions brought you here. The important thing is – you’re here and so am I.

You are in the right place if you are looking for ways to create peace of mind and confidence as a parent, an amazing connection with your kids and the ability to RESPOND to your kids rather than REACT.
You’re here if you are self aware and want to know how you can impact the atmosphere in your own home so that it is more positive, joyful and let’s be real…just easier.

My name is Iva Helena Gojanović and what I like to call myself a “Hrvatikanka or “Cromerican”- a dual citizen of the US and Croatia. I am also a mom to a beautiful daughter, Mia (with whom I’ve had more hands on experience than I could ever have imagined) a school adjustment counselor, licensed therapist,  NLP masters level practitioner and Social and Emotional Skills licensed coach, and a self-development geek.

With over 20 years of working with children and families in various mental health settings, including residential homes, schools, and private practice, as well as continuing on a journey of my own self-growth and development, I have come to recognize the importance of emotional management and communication. The greatest struggles and dis-ease surface when kids and caregivers alike were not able to manage their emotions and communicate their needs effectively.

You are in the right place if you are looking for ways to create peace of mind and confidence as a parent, an amazing connection with your kids and the ability to RESPOND to your kids rather than REACT. You’re here if you are self aware and want to know how you can impact the atmosphere in your own home so that it is more positive , joyful and let’s be real…just easier.

You are also in the right place if you want to know how you, as a parent, can support your kid’s social and emotional development.

From getting out the door, to putting on socks, to not arguing about what’s for dinner. Every single parent has their triggers and not all triggers are the same! That is why I work with you individually. You get to lead our partnership, create your own vision of what you want parenting to look like and I support you in that through specific guided questions and exercises.

FUN FACT

  • Did you know that 75% of parents who I ask “What is your vision for your relationship with your kids in the future?” Have no idea how to answer! Why?

  • Because parenting is so reactive that parents rarely get an opportunity to really outline what it is they want and hope for.

  • They fly by the seat of their pants and outside forces like peas up the nose (Yes, this happened), the same spill 20X, and having to repeat the same request over and over take up the brain space and bandwidth!

Want to know something else? A vision serves like a north star and guides your interactions- even the messy ones.

An example from my work and what it could be like for you to work with me: (Thank you Amy for letting me share this process) 🙂

Amy came to me frustrated, on the verge of tears and feeling like a failure as a parent. She had two beautiful kids and felt like she was constantly doing them a disservice by how frustrated she frequently got with them. During our first session, I asked her the same question above, “Amy, what is your vision for your relationship with your kids 5 years from now, 10 years from now, etc.? “ Amy teared up as she realized she never thought about it, After assuring her that most parents don’t, she gave me her answer. The next thing we did is that I asked Amy who she had to be as a parent in order to get the results she wanted out of her relationship with her kids. Amy listed adjectives like patient, kind, calm, open, nonjudgemental. As a follow up to this question, we looked at how she already was demonstrating those qualities and what were barriers standing in her way of being that kind of parent all of the time. Nothing is black and white…maybe that saying, but other than that, there are two sides to MOST THINGS – ALMOST EVERYTHING! ( I try and stay away from absolutes, when we chat, I’ll tell you why if you want to know!)

What we did during this session is slowly unpack the mystery of what was going on with Amy and her relationship with her kids. Now, she had a vision, a north star guiding her interactions. She knew that in order to accomplish her goal of the type of relationship she wanted to have, her interactions needed to have intention behind them. This is why the vision is so incredibly powerful. Without it, you are left to immediate reactions, guesswork, and the heat of the moment where you end up questioning yourself, enter feelings of doubt, guilt and shame. When you have the vision, you have an intention to create it. During times of stress or heightened emotion it’s your fall back, its your plan , its your North Star that will guide the next few seconds of your interaction. Imagine……..you are at your wit’s end, in a rush, the phone is ringing and your kid starts screaming that they can’t put their shoes on. You take a pause (we learn this skill and put it into practice) and remember your vision. You soften and it immediately makes your response more thoughtful, supportive and productive.

“Working with Iva was like a lifeline in the moment I reached out. I was so sick of doubting myself and feeling miserable with how I handled situations. I randomly came across Iva’s Facebook page and liked what she stood for. I reached out for a vision call- nervous and embarrassed, Iva put me at ease. She has this way about her that I felt like I was talking to a friend, only one that was non-judgemental. Her questions guided me and I felt so safe and understood. Since I’ve been working with Iva, I feel so much more in control, responsive and confident in my parenting. There has been a huge shift in my family and as much as I wish I could say my kids changed- it was me who changed throughout this process. While I got what I needed out of the 8 weeks, I have ongoing calls with Iva when new things come up or when I just feel like I could use a check in. I don’t know what else to say, other than I am so grateful that I took the first step and proud of myself for doing the work and getting the results I wanted.”Amy

“Working with Iva was like a lifeline in the moment I reached out. I was so sick of doubting myself and feeling miserable with how I handled situations. I randomly came across Iva’s Facebook page and liked what she stood for. I reached out for a vision call- nervous and embarrassed, Iva put me at ease. She has this way about her that I felt like I was talking to a friend, only one that was non-judgemental. Her questions guided me and I felt so safe and understood. Since I’ve been working with Iva, I feel so much more in control, responsive and confident in my parenting. There has been a huge shift in my family and as much as I wish I could say my kids changed- it was me who changed throughout this process. While I got what I needed out of the 8 weeks, I have ongoing calls with Iva when new things come up or when I just feel like I could use a check in. I don’t know what else to say, other than I am so grateful that I took the first step and proud of myself for doing the work and getting the results I wanted.”Amy

Does this speak to you in anyway? If so, schedule a free vision call.
We’ll use this time to see where youre at, where you want to go and if we’re a good fit for further collaboration and partnership.

If you’re not quite ready to take the first step, take a peek over at the framework and services tab to see what it could look like.

Coaching process

In this coaching process, we will create your vision for how you want to parent and the type of relationship you want to have. We will troubleshoot behavioral challenges and work on improving your communication and relationship with your kid so that challenging behaviors will begin to decrease, while your own confidence in how to handle these challenges will increase. We will identify your own areas of strength and areas to work on as it relates to social and emotional intelligence and implement practical tools to help you on your own journey. As this coaching program focuses on the social and emotional development of both you and your kids, you will also have access to resources, activities and tools to help your kids develop these skills as well.

Behavior

All behavior is a form of communication. When we can better understand our own behavior as well as that of our kids, we begin to see patterns, needs and desires. By being open to learning about ourselves and our kids, we can start to engage in new ways that create connection and fulfillment in our relationships- first with ourselves and then with our kids.

Skill

I have blended coaching around social and emotional skills, my years of both personal and professional experience and positive parenting to create a coaching program that helps parents grow alongside their kids to create connection and improve communication.

Skill

I have blended coaching around social and emotional skills, my years of both personal and professional experience and positive parenting to create a coaching program that helps parents grow alongside their kids to create connection and improve communication.

Awareness of self-care

What other people say about the coaching process

“Thank you so much for your care and kindness, our zoom calls meant so much to me and were so filled with value.  From working with you, I truly was able to be okay with putting myself first for the first time and not feeling guilty about it! I never realized how much my own stress was impacting the way I handled my kids. Now that I’m more calm,  my relationships have gotten so much better,  and not just with my kids. THANKS.

“I laughed, I cried, I hurt, I released pain- I went through so many emotions during our calls and I always felt safe and supported. I originally called Iva to talk about some challenging behavior that I was dealing with from my 4 and 6 year olds. Iva helped me better understand the meaning behind the behavior which then helped me to deal with it better. I also realized how much of my own behavior and actions were causing the majority of the issues, but without blame and guilt, only a desire to do better. A huge thank you to Iva and our work together.”

“Working with Iva was more beneficial to me and my family than I ever thought parent coaching could be. While I wanted a quick fix for my kid’s behavior- what I really got was understanding.  Iva’s way with me allowed me to go deep and really look at who I wanted to be as a parent. I can’t believe I never thought about it on my own! Within the first week of coaching I had an entirely new perspective that changed how I interacted with my kids. I am getting closer to the parent I want to be, and not only the parent but the woman I want to be.“

“Dear Iva, I can’t tell you how much you have made an impact in my life and in that of my kids. You know how broken down I felt when I first reached out- I was tired, angry and felt miserable. First, I just want to say thank you for making me feel so comfortable. I felt so guilty about how I was feeling that I didn’t want to talk about it with anyone and it was weighing me down. You are such an easy person to talk to and I loved the way you made it okay for me to feel the way I was feeling and at the same time helping me to shift from venting to action and understanding. I feel like I have such a better handle on my emotions right now as well as the expectations that I have for my kids. I feel more confident and just like you said in one of your posts, I have more peace of mind. Thank you and even though I completed the 8 weeks with you, I would love to have on-going contact with you! Thanks.

“I was feeling stuck around how to address my preteen wanting to be on social media. I wanted to impose limits and boundaries but I also didn’t want to create a drift between us where she would be sneaking on social media behind my back. I tried some approaches but really was feeling called to dive deeper on it and get some help as I didn’t feel I had the necessary tools to address it. I connected with Iva a few months back on social media and always loved her content and her energy. It felt very safe. I had one session with her and it was so helpful! She gave me concrete tools and questions to help me work with my kid, to involve her in the boundary setting and deepen our communication. She also helped me shift perspectives and see the situation from my kids viewpoint so that I can better understand and guide her afterwards. I felt very safe and understood and she really knows what she is doing.“

“Everyone needs to have an Iva on speed dial! I have benefitted from SOS calls on many occasions. There have been so many little situations that have cropped up with my kids that make me feel like I’m losing it or that I don’t like the way things are going. Whenever I schedule a call with Iva, I already feel calmer knowing that I’m about to solve a problem. Iva helps me understand what’s going on and helps me come up with my own plan. It hasn’t failed me yet!  We’ve gone through back talk, refusal to brushing teeth and avoiding chores. I really feel supported with Iva, I know she cares deeply about me and my family and I love how easy it is to talk to her.”

“Things were not going well. I was really feeling like a crappy parent and I just couldn’t get out of my own way. My vision call with Iva meant so much- it helped me get out of my head and into my heart. Rather than just focusing on all of the problems, Iva helped me to see that there really was another reality. Working with her has brought back my spark and I feel like I’m so much more relaxed. This was so much more than just helping me with managing behaviors.”

“ I was laughing through my tears as all of my feelings came bubbling up.  Iva made me feel so normal for what I was feeling.  that in and of itself was such a huge relief! I couldn’t stand who I was being as a parent. Our work over the last 8 weeks has helped me take a tremendous turn into how I show up for myself and for my kids. I feel like a different person, acutally,  really, I feel like I’m back to me. Thank you Iva for all the work that we’ve done together.”

“ I didn’t know what to expect or what I wanted but things were not going well. I was constantly yelling at my kids, and feeling guilty every time. My husband and I were fighting, frequently and in front of the kids because we didn’t see eye to eye on discipline. I scheduled a call with Iva and as we talked, I became so much more clear on what I wanted. Our next call, we included my husband and we worked with Iva on our parenting vision. I can’t believe that neither one of us ever had this conversation before! It put us on the same page and helped us work through some of our differences but really gave us a better understanding of where the other was coming from. I would have never guessed that a parent coaching session could turn into such a breakthrough for us as a couple. This has changed the way we communicate with each other and with our kids.”

“ I scheduled a one-off session with Iva following a brief vision call. I liked her style of communication and the way that it made me feel. I have a daughter with special needs and I easily get triggered by some of her behaviors. I knew I wasn’t handling myself in the best way. Iva worked with me to understand my own triggers and how to manage my emotions when I was triggered. Iva helped me to identify what was important to me and helped me to connect more with this desire. It’s amazing how in such a short coaching session, I was able to connect with my why which has made all of the difference in how I interact with my kids. Thank you!

Testimonials: Work with kids

My son, 8 years old, was having on-going conflicts with his friends. I signed him up for a five day workshop on problem solving with Iva. He was hesitant to go, and Iva offered him to just try it for the first day to see what it was like. Following the first day, he came home excited about what he learned and looking forward to the next day’s session. After every session, Iva sent all the parents a short recap of what was discussed and how we as parents, can support the lessons at home. I have to say, I was surprised how much he took in what they talked about. One ongoing conflict that he had with a peer was resolved and I could see how much he was trying to solve problems with his friends using assertive communication and “I feel…statements.” This is on-going work but I feel like the five day workshop gave him a good platform to start with.

“My daughter is very passive and she has a hard time standing up for herself. I signed her up for a five day workshop on problem-solving and I was pleased to see that she opened up to me more about things that were bothering her. Iva would give all the kids little exercises to try out for homework and I saw that my daughter was really invested. She even stood up to a neighbor who had been bothering her for awhile and she herself said she was proud of herself for doing it.“

“My daughter attended a five day workshop on self-esteem and confidence. Every day she would come home in a great mood and tell me about what they did- they talked about the brain, feelings and their strengths and weaknesses. I saw my daughter blossom during those five days and am thankful that she had this opportunity.”

“My wife and I adopted a 5 month old girl.  As my daughter was going through preschool she began asking questions about her family origins. As you can imagine, this was a little difficult for a young child to process and was easily confused about the family dynamic. We took her to see Iva, who worked with her to identify family members and her relationships using creative techniques. She also helped us navigate parenting and was a support to us as well. The experience was great, our daughter really trusted Iva and the hurdle was jumped with the help of Iva and her caring and warmth towards her and also towards us.”

“Iva has been meeting with my son, 12, for 6 weeks. He really enjoys meeting with her and we have noticed an improvement in his behavior and in the way he talks to us. Iva has also supported us as parents in helping us to communicate more effectively with him. We used to use punishment as our go-to discipline tool and Iva gave us more tools to work with. There has been a great shift in our family and our communication is so much better. I look forward to ongoing work with Iva, both for us and for our son. Our hope is to have positive communication and an open honest relationship- a goal that we identified in our first few sessions with Iva. She has a natural ability to click with others and to help us better understand what’s really going on with our son.”

“My daughter loves going to see Iva, she considers it her special time. I have seen growth in my duaghter’s ability to use her words, talk to me about her feelings and overall have seen her in a much better mood. Iva is always open for any kind of communication with me and also helps me to understand how I can best support her at home. I love having her as a resource and as a therapist for my daughter.”

Stay up to date with our Newsletter

Photo gallery

It is never too late to create an amazing relationship with yourself and your kids.

Contact me if you have any thoughts, questions, concerns, ideas...
Even just to say hi!❤

2 + 2 = ?